This beautiful photograph was taken in County Durham on a walk with a dear friend. We were surrounded by golden wheat and sun-bronzed barley, enveloped by moody old grey skies.
Can you see the tiny speck in the photo? We wondered if it was a fallow deer. On closer examination, we saw clearly that it wasn't. Clarity sees the whole.
On returning home I received an email accusing me of hurtful things, judging me to be guilty in my absence. A speck in my own view of life perhaps? And like the speck I can turn the view into something it isn't, or I can see the impersonal nature of the experience. It's really my choice.
All experiences arise in our own consciousness, dark specks or pebbles in the pond, maybe even stepping stones to a greater (clearer) understanding of who we truly are. So this email did not come from anywhere but my experience, interesting. It is at this point I can choose to react from my personal temporary body mind, or from the truth of my expanded awareness. And believe me I have to practice this awareness daily, because I still forget.
Every word and thought we use carries a vibration, the quality of who we are being in the moment. They vibrate at a level of how we truly express our emotions - are they from needs or fears? needing approval, needing love, needing attention? OR are they resting in spaciousness within the true mystery of Love? ARE WE SURRENDERING TO THAT MYSTERY to that Love as it moves through us? In freedom from egoic attachment or those secret needs. Operating from 100% freedom.
My email gave me an opportunity, firstly to be human and react - I could blame back, judge more, collude with friends on how injured I was. I could use this temporary body mind and see only a limited view. Or, I could see it from the expanded unlimited more intelligent source of all life. So I prayed to feel the constraints and limitations (feelings of anger and frustration) fall away, gradually allowing the red mist to move on through and allow myself to see the situation clearly. I accepted that if this had risen in my awareness, then it was a gift to shift my awareness from the personal limited body mind to the impersonal unlimited consciousness.
I simply allowed the smaller feelings to move through, knowing I could be present to a greater awareness and see the whole email challenge neutrally and not go to email war!
WE ALWAYS have a CHOICE
Now, here I am at my tiny fold away desk, sitting in the garden with intermittent thunder piercing my thoughts, a warm breeze rustles playfully through the bamboo canes. It blows regardless of the moody sky and it ripples right over the frog poking out of my garden pond. I love my pond, teeming with Olympian ready water boatmen, cleverly disguised newts in top hats and tails, and new frogs that lurk on the surface like doormen in the Hilton Hotel of pond land! Nature, its impersonal expansive gifts, just sitting around for us to notice. Not taking anything personally even if we don't ever notice the beauty. Lesson duly noted.
And what if we are stuck in anger? What if we can't quite shift the red mist. Then surrender and allow that mist to flow through you, it will eventually settle and fade. There is a forgiveness task in The Way of The Heart chapter 12 that might help :
You know (insert name________) I get it.
I have placed you in a box
And thrown away the key.
You're stuck, so I have said.
And now I release you, that I might be released.
As I said this a few times over, angry thoughts arose and I let them rise and fall away again into the neutral stuff they are truly made of, not my red mist. I said the Ho'oponopono prayer and went about my day.
Why am I sharing this? There is so much blame in the world, many lies are told from those chosen to be our leaders and a distinct lack of integrity in the news and social media. Wars begin with one person. I do not want to be that person; I am managing my own red mist with the understanding of one clear fact, forgiveness begins with me.
Clarity brings understanding and that in turn brings freedom from our personal thinking and a greater ease in our life. The speck in the photo above turned out to be a crop scarer! Our imagination can be used in many ways to invent something that is not the truth, sometimes innocently and sometimes not.
Here is a beautiful healing vibration to chant and hear bringing the mind to a deeper place of stillness The Mystical Lord`s Prayer by Jayem (youtube.com)
Abwoon d'bwashmaya O Birther! Father-Mother of the Cosmos/ you create all that moves in light.
Nethqadash shmakh Focus your light within us--make it useful: as the rays of a beacon show the way.
Teytey malkuthakh Create your reign of unity now--through our firey hearts and willing hands.
Nehwey sebyanach aykanna d'bwashmaya aph b'arha. Your one desire then acts with ours, as in all light, so in all forms
You should see how beautiful my garden is today, that is how I wish my internal 'garden' to be, in harmony with life. Wish me luck as I meet more lessons on my way through this life! I wish you greater understanding in yours.
Anni x
Author Simply Being You
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